Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Lists to Read Before You Die

Charlie Brooker is The Guardian's very own grumpy old man. He's not very old, but he's very, very grumpy. This week's target is lists, especially those Lists of Things to Do Before You Die.

"The worst "before you die" lists, though, are the ones aimed at middle-class traveller types. These are infuriating for several reasons. First, the writers use them as an excuse to show off about how cultured and well-travelled they are, so there you get lots of entries like: "No 23: Eat Spicy Malaysian Street Food While Watching the Sun Set Over Tioman Island in the Company of Some of Your Brilliantly Successful Novelist Friends." The conceited worms are simply recounting incidents from their own cosseted, hateful little lives and holding them up as aspirational examples for us all. At first this strikes you as smug. Then you realise it's merely desperate. Who are they trying to impress, precisely? The Joneses? They're prancing around in front of an invisible mass of readers, nonchalantly cooing about how wonderful they are. It's 50 times more snivelling and undignified than any Z-list celebrity you care to mention stripping naked and inseminating a cow on a Bravo reality show. At least that's unpretentious."


I'm sure he feels the better for being able to offload his über-rants, and to be fair he does it really well. The feedback from his readers can be just as entertaining:

"So it's 'travellers' that get it on today's blog - Good!! What really narks me is when these people go on holiday (for a year) 'travelling' they come back like they are now a full Jedi Knight and they have seen things that only a few mere mortals get to see. My arguement is always the same - I HAVE A TELEVISION, I'VE SEEN THE PYRAMIDS, AND WITHOUT THE SMELL. I always ask whether they have been to Norwich, invariably they haven't, i then say well i've seen inside Norwich cathedral AND i've seen the pyramids on TV, so actually that makes me twice as cultured as you."


By coincidence, in Borders last night, I saw a book with a variation on this theme. With a cuddly panda and a majestic tiger on its cover, it's dedicated to endangered species. The title: 100 Animals To See Before They Die

2 comments:

Mamtha said...

Hi there.It must be annoying to have as your first commenter someone who wants something else from you altogether rather than someone who like what you wrote.

But I'm desperate and although I find what you write interesting (really. and I loved the deer park and more recently, dead man walking), I'm here to make an unusual request... if you will be a part of my research study!

I’m a Ph.D. student at Glasgow University trying to find out how people across cultures (U.K. and India) approach life-work, love, leisure, what is important to them and the different things that make means happiness to them. So I’m, here to interview British/Scottish men and women between the ages of 25 and 35.

And thought this is a good enough way to locate participants..

But why would you want to do this? Well for one, you will be part of an important study that eventually aims to find application in making people happy :) Two, you get to talk about yourself for two whole hours while somebody is really paying attention! Three, when you come visiting India, you can stay in my home in Mumbai and I will take you around. Promise! And four, I’ll buy you coffee and snacks over the session (s) :)

I need about 10-12 people and each is therefore very crucial for the study.

So, if you want to chat about your life and have someone pay attention, please mail me at mamthakarollil[at]gmail[.]com.

Eagerly,
Mamtha.

Mamtha said...

Jeez! Its "Tough guys dont dance". Not "Dead man walking"
Sheesh!!